We’re now living in magical world where we pee with our phones and I KNOW you do, because we all know where everyone is located, at all times.
…or do we?
It’s a known fact that if there’s a way to scheme, someone will do it, and that someone is Jack, my friend Hillary’s husband.
Jack quickly realized that you don’t actually have to be in a location in order to “check in” to that location on Facebook.
Check into Italy right now!
It’s so easy!
This “check-in” trick came in handy during Jack’s business trips out of town.
Hillary and Jack were married for one year, and he was a total sleaze ball.
Jack had a very active presence on Facebook and shared all kinds of things and checked into all kinds of places.
…Such as the airport, during his business trips out of town.
Ya’ll…the poor Dulles International Airport in Washington, D.C.!
That airport has SO MANY CANCELLATIONS, according to Jack’s Facebook page, it’s amazing they get any business travelers at all.
“Another cancelled flight, hate this place”—at Dulles International Airport.
“Well, I guess I’ll just drink for the next four hours”—at Dulles International Airport.
“Thought for once I’d board on time.. nope—at Dulles International Airport.
These “airline delays” would buy him another day, often a weekend day.
It didn’t seem odd at all.
After all, there are hundreds of cancellations every day.
And everyone checks into the airport on Facebook.
No one assumes they’re lying.
It was quite genius.
After about a month, however, Jack’s cover was blown.
By the very platform that let him lie so wonderfully.
Apparently, he had been cheating on Hillary with a girl in D.C. who picked up on something fishy.
“I just want to let you know that Jack has been cheating on you for the past month,” she wrote to Hillary VIA FACEBOOK MESSAGE one late Friday night.
Hillary tried to play it cool.
“Who is this? I don’t know you, what are you talking about?”
The girl gave irrefutable evidence.
She and Jack had been in a relationship every Monday-Friday/Saturday for the exact month he had been out of town for business. She said she didn’t know he was married.
She thought he was just a bachelor in town for work.
But she had a suspicion he was hiding something.
So, she checked his phone when he was asleep (LOL) and peeked at his Facebook page that had the profile picture of him and Hillary.
Then she scrolled down and saw his most recent post about being DELAYED at the airport, around the same time he was taking her to dinner.
“Have him show you his credit card bill you’ll see a charge for a restaurant named Quill,” she wrote.
And then the kicker: “He’s still asleep. I’ll leave the phone ringer on high if you want to call him right now.”
Hillary could hardly move, she was so shocked and disgusted.
She waited until Jack got back to town to confront him with this information, and demanded he show her statements for all of his credit cards.
He should have had multiple $9 airport beers on his tab right?
THE SAME DAY HIS FLIGHT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE TAKEN OFF.
“That was a business meeting!” Jack said.
I think she should go ahead and actually check in to Italy.
…while filing for divorce.