It’s always flattering when a boyfriend asks you for help where you can use your unique skills.
(Well OK except your cleaning skills.)
But say you’re a graphic designer…it’s flattering if he asks you to design a logo for his new business.
Or if you are a writer, and he asks you to look over an email to his boss.
Or if you’re a black belt, and he asks you to beat someone up.
You know. The usual.
…But back to being a writer.
I’ve had lots of fellow writer friends get asked to use their unique writer skills to help out boyfriends.
College term papers, a business pitch, a short bio, a passive aggressive letter to a landlord (LOL), the aforementioned email to a boss.
You know. The usual.
But Dean takes the cake on his recent, bold ask of my friend Helen.
Helen is a writer for a health website and she met Dean on a dating app called Bumble.
He was cute and wore glasses and was seemingly normal—“actually rather intellectual” she describes—and they first met at a happy hour.
He texted her afterwards saying he had a great time and that he thought they really hit it off and he’d like to do something again.
They went out several more times after that.
Dinner one night, a proper movie date another night (Ed note: SWOON, FEED ME POPCORN).
Another time, they spent an entire day playing tourist doing historic tours.
Helen was having a great time.
They decided to cap off their day of tourist fun by watching an NBA playoff game at a sports bar.
That’s when Helen noticed that Dean was paying a lot more attention to his phone than the selection of wings flavors.
“Hey, you’re a writer,” he said casually, still staring at his phone. “How do you spell ‘bouquet?’”
Helen laughed. “Like a bouquet of flowers?”
“Yea,” he said, his face still in his phone.
“Why do you need to spell bouquet?” she asked.
And then she saw it—the reflection in his glasses.
The screen for Bumble, the dating app.
HE WAS MESSAGING ANOTHER GIRL ON BUMBLE WHILE ON THEIR DATE.
AND HE WANTED HER TO SPELL BOUQUET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TO ANOTHER GIRL!
What a tool!!!
Suddenly his glasses weren’t so cute anymore.
“I told him that I saw the Bumble profile screen in the reflection of his glasses (HAHAHAHAHA), and called him out on it and he seems to think it’s no big deal,” Helen recalls.
She said Dean’s response was: “You’re really mad? WOW. OK, Helen.”
..As if SHE’S out of line.
Who does that?
Who messages someone else on a date and then has the nerve to ask a date for writing advice??
ON HOW TO SPELL A SUPER ROMANTIC WORD!!
(How else could bouquet be used?? REALLY.)
Helen told Dean that he was super rude and that she was DONE hanging out with him.
Helen left him at the bar and called an Uber.
And, no, she never spelled “bouquet” for him.
But we wish him lots and lots of thorns all the same.