TOOLBAG TUESDAY…CHANGE YOUR MAN

It’s all chump change until you fill up an entire jar in your bedroom with quarters and dimes and then bring it to the grocery store and turn it into cold, hard cash (minus a ten percent fee), AmIRight people????

My friend Ashley always had the same big plans for when she turned her coin jar into cash: she’d buy a new pair of shoes.

Ashley was able to buy several pairs of shoes a year in this manner because she was a server at a restaurant and always had change from her shifts.

When she got home with her apron, she’d dump the change from the pockets. And she’d watch her jar fill up.

But then, she started dating Harry.

Harry had a typical 9-5 job and Ashley was a server, so they had vastly different schedules.

Harry would come over late at night after she’d be done her shift, and he’d leave the next morning early to go to work.

Generally, Ashley was still sleeping when Harry would leave her house.

Which is why she didn’t notice this CHUMP near her change.

One morning, about two months into his regular sleepovers, Ashley was uncharacteristically awake at 8 a.m.

She heard Harry slowly get out of bed, walk to and from the bathroom, put on clothes and shoes and then…DIP his hand into her change jar.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“What are you doing???” Ashley asked, straightening up in bed.

“What?” Harry asked, putting his grubby hand into his pocket.

“What are you doing taking money from my change jar?” Ashley asked.

“Oh…I’m taking, like, a dollar to get a breakfast sandwich from Burger King,” he said.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“WHAT?!” She asked.

“I’m going to get a breakfast sandwich from Burger King,” he repeated. “What’s the big deal? It’s just a dollar.”

CORRECTION…HER DOLLAR.

“How often are you doing this?” Ashley asked.

“I don’t know, a few times when I’m hungry in the mornings,” he said.

LOL

So, basically every morning he spent the night.

“That’s NOT cool,” she said. “That’s stealing.”

“It’s not a big deal!” Harry said, annoyed.

ANNOYED!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean, HE DIDN’T EVEN THINK THAT SHE MIGHT BE SAVING UP FOR SOMETHING??

A Croissan’wich isn’t a pair of new ballet flats, HARRY!!

Of course, Harry was annoyed at being dumped….like a jar of change into the grocery store CoinStar machine soon after that.

But hey, I’m sure at least Burger King misses him.

Chump.

-Jenny

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