It’s a rarely reported fact that when you are online dating, it’s a huge challenge to keep all those new peoples’ names in your phone straight.

Just kidding.

It’s hard for GUYS to keep all those new peoples’ names in their phone straight.

…Or maybe there are really that many girls named Lauren on Tinder that guys need to add thoughtful details beyond “Lauren from Tinder” saved in their phone.

I personally don’t see why anyone needs to save someone’s name in their phone until a third date.

All potential suitors should just remain just a series of digits until they do something to warrant a name entry, or at least until you care to learn their last name.

Because, CHEESE DICK, it is SO tacky is it to put “Tinder” behind someone’s name in your phone.

Katie Tinder

Ashley Tinder

Meghan Tinder


What’s even worse—even MORE cheese dick, if you will—is  when guys have just way too many  “Sarah Tinder” entries that they need to add additional, superficial details like “Blonde Sarah from Tinder” or “Hot Sarah from Tinder.”

“Big Butt Jessica from Tinder”


Y’all. This Happens.

My friend Lenora got the unfortunate luck of getting to read what her former boyfriend, Louis, had put into his phone to describe her.

Lenora’s iPhone was broken and Louis, this guy she had dated for almost a year, loaned her his old iPhone.

…You know, the one he was using when he was typing Tinder behind every girl’s name.

When Lenora activated his phone, she looked through his contacts for the word “Tinder.”

(You know, for fun.)

Not only did CHEESE DICK Louis have 12 girls (TWELVE!) with “Tinder” behind their names (which he didn’t think to delete before giving her his phone), but Lenora saw an additional nickname behind her own name:

“Lenora from Tinder who has a kid.”



The revealing part was that Louis had always been standoffish about Lenora’s kid, even from the very beginning. Obviously.

SO obviously that it was the most important note to describe her.

He didn’t save her as, “Brunette Lenora from Tinder.”

Or, “Lenora from Tinder who has two dogs.”

Or—I know, WACKY IDEA—just “Lenora.”

No, it was “Lenora from Tinder who has a kid.”

Clearly her kid was a red flag for him. Which he never expressly stated outside of his iPhone contacts.

Well, it certainly was a red flag for her.

It was one of the only times when she would have preferred to have been described as “Lenora from Tinder with big boobs.”

The good news is that now Louis has his own Tinder nickname in Lenora’s new iPhone:

“Louis Huge Asshole from Tinder”

(For the record, my vote was for “Louis Cheese Dick from Tinder.”)

Either way, SWIPE LEFT.


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