Sometimes regular life events provide great timing to test a new relationship.

This is certainly the case with any event that requires a gift.

For example, say you met a guy and started dating one month before your birthday.

…Does he get you a gift?

See, it’s a natural way to weed out the cheaps.

The same can be said for Christmas and the very obvious Valentine’s Day, but this week, I learned about another life event test, an unusual one that involves not just a day but an entire season: College football.

This may not come as a surprise to many people.

(Even I have written a Toolbag Tuesday about a guy who took college football WAY too seriously, but I thought that was an isolated incident.)

Not isolated!

In fact, I recommend everyone start dating someone new in early September during this important testing season.


My friend Katie started dating Grant in late August after they met at a concert in Charleston.

They went out on dates, they talked and texted almost daily and she had really high hopes for him.

But then college football started.

Grant was a Clemson fan and he invited her to watch the Clemson game at his favorite Clemson bar, which was 45 minutes from Katie’s house.


But her team (LSU) was playing later that evening and she agreed to meet him there and spend the day watching college football.

When she finally arrived (45 MINUTE DRIVE), Grant was already drunk.

It was a very close game and he was stressed out, as if he was personally on the field himself.

He told her hello and that she looked nice, but other than that, he was silent at the high top bar table.

“I don’t talk to a lot of people when a Clemson game is on,” he announced.

Katie was annoyed that she drove a long way just to hang out with a MUTE (who, frankly, pulls for the wrong team hahaha) but she told herself that Grant was just passionate and maybe if they order nachos at halftime, he’ll be nicer.

But as halftime approached, Clemson was losing by one point.



“F—- B—- S— GOD DAMMIT!” Grant was screaming.

“Woah, hey, it’s just one point,” Katie reassured him. “LSU has been way down more than that at halftime and they pulled it out, it’s OK.”

She said Grant’s eyes flashed at her and he didn’t say anything else to her after that.

“Like, he actually stopped speaking to me,” she said.

Katie got up and went to the bathroom, questioning her choices in men, and when she got back to the bar, Grant was closing his tab.

(NOT ordering nachos.)

“Wait, are you leaving?” she asked. “I just got here.”

She said Grant CONTINUED TO IGNORE HER as he signed his bar tab.

Katie was shocked.

“I’ve never had someone just ignore me like that in my entire life,” she recalls.

“Are you serious right now??” she asked him. “It’s just one point!”

Plus it was halftime.

At that moment, Katie was tapped on the shoulder by a girl she knew, and they chatted for a minute. When she turned her attention back to Grant, he was staring at his phone.

“My Uber’s here,” Grant said. And left the bar.



Over ONE point.


Katie was furious, but stayed at the bar with her friend and watched LSU play a terrible game in which they LOST, but she still had a good time anyway because she’s a normal person.

Four hours later, Grant texted her.

“Do you, like, hate me now?” he asked.


Katie called him on her way home and Grant explained that he was so drunk, he didn’t realize it was halftime and he thought the game was over and that Clemson had lost by one point.


He went home and passed out and when he woke up four hours later, he had missed the second half. Clemson ended up winning.




“So, yea, sorry about that, I thought the game was over,” he said.


Does this mean he thinks that behavior would be OK if it was the actual final score???

Does he think it’s cool to pass out before 2 p.m. on a Saturday after making plans with a new girlfriend to spend the day together?

…And then ignore her in public for no reason?

…And then leave her at a bar by herself?



Thank you, college football season for being a natural test for WHO NOT TO DATE.

Like Clemson fans, for example.


It’s gonna be a long season.


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