TOOLBAG TUESDAY: Invoking the Holy Spirit

When breaking up with someone, there are very few people who are acceptable to list as “not approving” as the reason for said breakup.

A twin sister, for example. (Don’t EVER piss off a twin sister.)

Parents. (Because…are you really worth getting their inheritance cut off??)

And uhhhh….God?

Ha

Ok. Sure, those three people would be acceptable.

Everyone else who “doesn’t approve” can go to hell.

(I hate you. –God)

On the other hand, if we were to list the people who are completely UNACCEPTABLE to list as “not approving” of a relationship, certainly that would include an ex-girlfriend.

I mean, can you imagine?

“Yea, I really like you and all, but I was talking to my ex Hillary and she doesn’t like the idea of us dating, so…”

LOL

So, not only are you still talking to your ex, but you’re getting dating advice from her.

RIIIIGHT.

My friend Gwen had an even worse breakup due to a “disapproval.”

Gwen and this guy Blair had been dating for SIX MONTHS, when he broke the news that he couldn’t DATE HER ANYMORE. Because someone didn’t approve.

It was one of those breakups where you get a whole bunch of horrifying information.

“Well,” Blair said, OVER THE PHONE. “I’ve been hanging out after class with this girl Jessica and she doesn’t like that you and I spend the night together, so…”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

????????????????

WTF????

FIRST, WHO THE F IS JESSICA???

WHY DOES SHE EVEN KNOW THEY SPEND THE NIGHT TOGETHER???

AND WHY WOULD SHE NOT APPROVE OF THEM SPENDING THE NIGHT TOGETHER??

(I mean, it’s obvious.)

It was a complete relationship violation.

Ugh. Why didn’t he just say, “I met someone else?”

Why did he have to say there was a “disapproval?”

How is this tactic better?????

Oh, hey babe. So, I’ve been hanging out with a girl without you knowing. And she doesn’t want me and you to date anymore. And…I’m going to listen to her because I’m already whipped by a girl who isn’t you.

UGH.

Even God would disapprove.

-Jenny

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