In “is this real life??” news, people are now getting dumped via Instagram.


…For an even less personal breakup than via text message.

My friend was seeing a guy for a month and one day he sent her a message on Instagram saying that he got back together with his ex-girlfriend. Sorry.


I thought that was bad, but then I heard about my friend Courtney, who got an even MORE disturbing Instagram message from a man: Hello, I’m sorry to tell you this, but your fiancé is cheating on you and sleeping with my wife.




I can’t even think of a hashtag for that!!

Courtney was engaged to Chris, this complete TOOL (he’s been featured in TWO previous Toolbag Tuesdays…here and here), and he obviously never changed.

Courtney and Chris had an off-and-on volatile relationship.

But she eventually gave him the benefit of the doubt. She believed him when he said he was going to change and be the man she deserved.


But then as she’s planning their wedding, she checked her Instagram one morning and saw a message from a stranger named Brian. This is basically the gist:



#Disgusting indeed!!!!

It was quite the accusation.

So Courtney did what anyone would do: she logged on to Chris’ Instagram account and looked through his direct messages to confirm.

And there he was messaging the woman in question, THAT DAY, THE WOMAN WHO IS SOMEONE’S WIFE, telling her he can’t wait to hold her and kiss her.





Courtney thought a second…uhhhh according to the messages…HE WAS AT HER HOUSE AT THAT EXACT MOMENT.


(This is in addition to another message to ANOTHER woman asking her to join him for a “staycation” at a hotel in town.)


Courtney called Chris and tore him a new one and dumped him and told him never to come back to their apartment again.

And because he’s a Toolbag Tuesday hall-of-famer, Courtney explains their breakup conversation: “He had the nerve to tell me, ‘if this is what you want, this is it. I’m not chasing you or begging you back this time.’”


She blocked him from everything possible (yes, even Words with Friends) and had his MOTHER come get his stuff out of their apartment (#LOL).

Courtney then reached out to the married cheater woman (via Instagram…how else??) about how rude and inconsiderate they both were.

…Which is when Courtney found out that Chris was now living with her.


So now Courtney gets to go around telling people that she and her fiancé broke up because he was cheating on her with a married woman who he’s now living with. And whose husband blew the lid off the whole thing. Via Instagram.


Truly the lowest of the low.


“Thank God I didn’t marry him,” Courtney said. “The universe saved me!”

Yes the universe.

But also, Instagram.




One thought on “TOOLBAG TUESDAY…#Instadick

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