TOOLBAG TUESDAY

There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who go out of their way to MORTIFY you when you break up with them, and the normal kind.

Let’s talk about the first kind.

These are the people who freak out and get so butt-hurt that instead of getting drunk and/or bitching about you to their close friends, or even write an anonymous blog post about it on a Tuesday (uhhh for example), they go out of their way to RUIN YOUR LIFE.

This isn’t virgin territory.

(heyoooo)

Lest we forget the 100 percent WINNER who decided in his head that my friend stole  his cell phone and that he needed to message her MOM and also her BOSS on Facebook to warn them that they had raised/hired a thief, respectively.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I thought that was bad, but my friend Sarah told me a similar story that is even MORE mortifying, and even MORE damaging.

…All because of a butt-hurt crazy guy who couldn’t handle a simple, straightforward rejection.

Sarah said she and Scott didn’t even date, but spent the night together a few times, like most people in their 20s do. He was cute, he was an IT person back in the early 2000s when computers were still new.

Sarah had been in a long-term relationship with a guy, and they had just called it quits.

But after two months of not being together, Sarah and her ex-boyfriend decided to give it another go.

She told Scott the truth.

“He and I are actually going to try and work things out…” she said. “Sorry.”

Scott hung up on her.

Fine.

But then, a day later, OMG, Sarah logged into her Myspace page (Hey….early 200s) and SOMEONE…someone who knew a little something about computers had UPLOADED A NEW PROFILE PICTURE FROM HER ACCOUNT….OF SARAH’S HEAD PHOTOSHOPPED ONTO A NAKED WOMAN’S BODY with a serpent tail coming out of the butt.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sarah said it was definitely not a naked picture of her own body but the naked “body double” that was used was very similar to her body type, so it looked real (aside from the tail.)

UPLOADED AS HER, FROM HER OWN ACCOUNT!!!!!!!!! TO ALL HER FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!

She was mortified and furious and took it down and reported it to MySpace (Dear Tom, from MySpace LOL…) She was just about to call Scott and SCREAM at him, when right then, her mother called.

“Ummmm…Sarah?”

Uhhhh…yea?

“We just got a very disturbing email from you….”

FROM HER.

FROM HER EMAIL ACCOUNT.

“I didn’t send you an email…..Wha— what—did it say?”

OMG

“Dear mom and dad….” her mother recited. “I am a very dirty, dirty bad girl….”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The only thing I could do when I heard this story was put my hand over my mouth.

The email went into very specific detail about how dirty she was…in bed.

“I…was…hacked!” Sarah said to her mom.

She tried to play it off as completely out of the blue, (This was the early 2000s)  IT COULD BE THE PRINCE OF NIGERIA!!!!!

But it was obvious that it was Scott, replaying their two nights together.

FOR HER PARENTS.

….FROM HER EMAIL ADDRESS.

HOW DID HE GET HER PASSWORD???!?!?

WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH BRINGING PEOPLE’S PARENTS INTO YOUR DRAMA???!?!?

HOW COULD SOMEONE BE SO SPITEFUL???!?!?!?

Sarah calmed her parents down, and then called Scott 17 times.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Scott said coolly.

And then he blocked her number.

!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL

Why couldn’t he have blocked himself from her social media pages!?!??!?!

What did she possibly do to deserve this?????!?

Thankfully, her parents believed her prince of Nigeria story, or they politely ignored the message and it was never spoken of again.

UGH.

I hope Scott’s butt hurts forever.

And that TOM did the right thing and disabled his MySpace.

-Jenny

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