– The guy I was hooking up with went out of the country for several months and left me his fish to take care of, forwarded his mail to me and gave me some other things to keep safe. Then one day I sent him a sexy picture and he asked me not to do that anymore because his girlfriend wouldn’t think it was appropriate.

– …When he came back, he actually tried to get sympathy because his girlfriend had cheated on him while he was travelling.

– This guy I was sleeping with had talked about doing a movie and dinner. The day came and I didn’t hear from him until 20 minutes before the movie was supposed to start. I told him I didn’t think we had time for the movie, and did he want to just get dinner. He flipped out on me and started yelling saying, “what do you think this is, a date? Next thing you’re going to say is you have feelings for me!”

– He brought a date to a Superbowl party with all our friends the day after we had sex.

– I asked my boyfriend if he needed help moving out of his apartment and he gave me the task of snaking his bathtub drain which had a ton of long, obviously girl hair in it that wasn’t mine and asked me to pack up a drawer where he kept mementos of all of his past relationships.