Once upon a time, my friend Brenna was going on a date with a guy I was Facebook friends with.
Greg wrote back saying no, they weren’t hiring, and that he was actually leaving the company so if I heard of any job openings anywhere to let him know.
That was all I knew about him.
I clicked through his photos.
“He’s cute!” I said. “If not a little bald.”
“Well I’m going out with him this weekend!” Brenna said, excited. He was cute and successful.
But then Brenna showed up to brunch that following Sunday with a grossed out look on her face.
“Well…we slept together…and it was OK…” she said.
She continued, “But then afterwards, he freaked out about how I wasn’t on birth control because he didn’t use a condom.”
I love how guys forget everything they learned in biology and make it the girls’ fault that she’s not on birth control.
Like…obviously you’re not really all that into birth control either, dude.
It’s so sexist I can’t stand it.
“He freaked out and got out of bed and paced the room,” Brenna said.
We all assumed Greg was freaking out solely because of the baby thing.
“He did say he was quitting his job…” she said.
I said, “Yea, he mentioned that in his Facebook messages.”
Over the next couple weeks, Brenna felt increasingly awful/sleazy when Greg didn’t respond to her texts and calls.
After-school special alert!!!
Was he REALLY still mad about her not being on birth control?
Did he know she had only rated him an “OK”?
“Does his Facebook page say anything?” she asked.
“No,” I said. “Nothing.”
Brenna still hadn’t heard from him when she found out she wasn’t pregnant. Thank God.
We had all moved on and completely forgotten about Greg thinking it was just an embarrassing one-night stand, when TWO MONTHS LATER, the news came into my Facebook news feed.
Greg was engaged.
To be married.
With a girl, who, judging by the number of likes and comments, was someone he had been with for a long time.
A no-condom cheater!!
Punch him in the d*ck!!!!
Yea, Greg, I guess I’d FREAK OUT too about using no condom while cheating on my girlfriend when there was a possibility the side chick could get pregnant.
(And way to shame the single girl you sleep with for not being on birth control when what you’re doing is way more shame-worthy.)
This Greg…not too smart is he??
Or even OK.