Even if the only reason why you want to go out with a girl is to bang her, at least pretend to be polite about it.


I find it hard to believe that a guy can’t at least muscle through a beer at a bar.

Or is that too much to ask these days??

Evan is this guy who my friend Shannon met at the mall last week (details surrounding why she was at a mall and getting guys’ numbers are unclear).

Evan was cute, very much her type and actually stopped her outside BCBG to tell her how pretty she was and how her EYES WERE JUST GORGEOUS and insisted she take his business card.  

Flattered, she took it and then gave him her number. He said he’d give her a call sometime to “grab a beer.”
Shannon was excited.

Two days later, Shannon didn’t want to wait anymore and called him and left a nice message about how it was great meeting him.

He called back an hour later (swoon) and she said they had a great conversation about where they lived, their work, and other random things.

Then came the inevitable, “Let’s hang out. What do you want to do?”

Shannon suggested they go grab a beer somewhere, like he had suggested in the mall, but Evan countered with a SUPER SUBTLE “maybe you could come over and hang out at my house tonight?”

“I told him that, as a girl, I feel a little uncomfortable about going to a guy’s house before I know him well, but I’d love to hang out and grab a beer somewhere,” Shannon recalls.

(After school specials really DO carry over into adulthood!!!)

Evan said he “totally understood” and it was OK, “love,” he just couldn’t make it out that night because he was too tired from a long work week.

“How about a rain check?” Evan asked. “How about Saturday?”

Shannon said Saturday was perfect.

But Friday, Evan called with “bad news.” He was going to have to cancel their plans because he forgot there were soccer games on TV all day and he had to stay home and watch them.

Shannon raised one eyebrow into the phone.

“But, if you want to pick up some beers and come over, that would be awesome,” he said, not even asking her if she liked watching televised soccer.

“Um, thanks for the offer, and I would love to hang out, but I would really like to get to know you first before coming over to your house,’” Shannon said.


Yet this time, Evan didn’t “understand” at all.

“I promise I am not going to try anything,” he said, almost immediately.

“I appreciate that, but I really just don’t feel right going to someone’s house I don’t know,” Shannon said.

Then Evan said, “I just don’t understand why you feel that way. It’s odd.”


(Gotta give it to him, though, watching soccer on TV would be the quickest way to get ME into bed. zzzzzzzzzz.)

Shannon again nicely suggested they hang out somewhere, uh, in public, and Evan finally said that was fine.

“I’ll call you back after the games are over to figure out where we’re going to go,” he said.

Shannon mentally picked out a cute outfit and put on some makeup.

But the shithead never called.

Even now, a week later.

I like to think he just never woke up.


2 thoughts on “TOOLBAG TUESDAY

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